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When Capt. Picard says it, You Pay Attention

When Capt. Picard says it, You Pay Attention

Of all the types of posts I might write, the hardest are the ones for the Friday slot which, hopefully, are lighter in nature.

I’m not a naturally “light” individual.  Besides being physically heavier than most (yep, fat), my personality is more serious than jolly.  It is one of the reasons why I had to import humor into my life in the person of my husband, the ‘Publican.  I learned about the women in my family doing this with their husbands (my two uncles had wicked senses of humor) and then it made perfect sense.

But sometimes something out there in the world just either tickles me, or annoys the holy living shit out of me.  This is actually both.

For a very long time, I’ve been yelling at the TV set – “My God, what a terrible hairpiece on that guy!” or “Really?  Not a color found in nature, buddy.”  The ‘Publican is used to my comments on men’s manes.

I’m all for looking your best at whatever age you just so happen to be.  I’m in favor of nips and tucks (and more tucks and nips) and weaves and make-up, and all that stuff.  But . . . seriously?

Here’s what I think they’re going for:

Mon cherie amor

And here’s what they actually manage:

Not as CUTE

Now tell me you’d sleep with the guy in the second picture over the cutie pie in the first picture?  Doomed to never be laid.

It can be useful to see some real bad men’s hair to  appreciate the magnitude of the problem:

ben-nelson-badwigs

Some politician with a hair helmet

bad-wigs-on-men 1

Yes, another hair helmet – with the dead giveaway of mono-color.  Real hair has many colors within it.

and one more fabulous example:

baddyejobs9    I’m just hoping Tom Hanks was in character, because if this is what he thinks looks good, god help us all.  It looks like he just got some shoe polish out and painted his head – and a mustache for good measure.

Let’s get real here.  We ALL age, if we’re lucky.  And there is nothing wrong with losing your hair or having it go gray or white.

A few more examples:

So sad - yes, this is Robert Redford       baddyejobs3   James_Lankford,_Official_Portrait,_112th_Congress

Howard Dean of rebel yell fame      baddyejobs4

Frightening, isn’t it?  Poor Robert Redford and Paul McCartney.  I don’t give a fig about Howard Dean, the anonymous congressman or private citizen – but here’s a clue:  If you’re going to color the hair, go for subtle, do a weave which is close to your natural color; nothing too dark or too red, okay?  And not this:

baddyejobs5    You know his girlfriend said she liked this; you know his wife is laughing at him (“What a damn fool!”) behind his back.

Honestly, this should be outlawed.

What possesses a man like Lou Dobbs (now of Fox Business channel) to go from the first picture to the second?

lou-dobbs-gray-hair        baddyejobs8  Now in Dobbs’ defense, his blonde locks aren’t as bad as going from his original white to something stark like a few of the example above, but he looked fine with white hair.  He’s not a young guy, and that is fine.  Isn’t it?

badwigs3  I think this is Elton John.  I could be wrong.

And here are a few more example of extremely bad hair and bad judgment:

311phdu  baddyejobs1  badwigs11

Robin Williams’ main sin is a very bad dye job, but Frank Luntz, the guy in the last picture, has one of the worst pieces ever, even worse than the guy in the first picture (if that’s possible – it is.)

I can continue to show you the evidence, but you get the picture.  Men are damn fools when they do this.  The reason why this is so awful, actually, has a lot to do with who these guys are – I found all these images on google and they don’t just put ordinary folks on there, so these are all either politicians or celebrities or people who signed releases.

In other words, they probably have the dough to get good hair either by getting a transplant (looking at you, “Plugs” Biden), a good dye job (see my comments above – get a weave fellas), or really well made hair pieces (Ben Affleck – love that piece! Really, guy, it’s fab.)

Here’s a truth – women prefer guys who look their age for the most part.  What’s a sexy guy?  Not some hair helmeted half wit.  What’s sexy is self confidence.  What’s sexy is health.  What’s sexy is not giving a flying fig what others think about you.  Yes, that’s part of self confidence.  Being happy in your life is also tremendously sexy.  And intelligence – intelligence is always sexy!

None of these have a thing to do with hair, or the lack of it.

So – here’s a couple of photos to prove my point.  The first and second are also of the same guy (if you’re younger, you won’t figure this out . . . hang on):

baddyejobs10    goodjobtomjones

Got it?  Yes, it’s Welsh crooner Tom Jones who decided, wisely, to go from dyed to natural – and he looks fiiiine.  Okay, for those who don’t know who Tom Jones is or was in heyday, I give you Tom Jones with his gal pal Tina Turner:

 

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